Kiss marks on photos are signs of love
April 16, 2008
By Administrator
When I was a little girl my mom and dad rarely left the house without giving me a kiss goodbye.
“Come over here and give your mom and dad a kiss,” Dad gently asked.
I did.
Then I married and started a family. When we visited my parents, we never left the house without hearing them say, “Come over here and give your mom and dad a kiss.”
And we did – because we never outgrow kisses.
So it stands to reason that when I visited Mom two weeks ago in her memory care community, I didn’t want to leave her without our traditional farewell. After she’d tired from our one-hour visit, the time had arrived.
“Let me give you a kiss, Mom,” I said.
And I did.
It wasn’t easy to leave. It never is, because I’ve come to appreciate not only the frailty of Alzheimer’s, but of life in general. And saying goodbye to a loved one is something I never want to take for granted.
So right after I’d started walking down the hallway, something prompted me to turn around and take a look at this woman whom I adore so much. And there she was – smiling, giggling and blowing me kisses.
“I love you, Judy-Pie,” she said. How I treasured hearing her say my name.
“I love you, too, Mom.”
But the kisses didn’t stop there, because I often pick up my parents’ photo and gently kiss it. It may have been nearly six years since I last heard Dad’s voice, and I may not be able to visit Mom more than once every week or two, but that doesn’t stop me from “coming over here and giving my parents a kiss.”
There’s more.
I often place a soft kiss on my right fingertips and gently touch my son and his family’s photos; they live so far away. I slowly rub my hand over their faces and whisper, “I love you.”
My friend, Barb Knopik, understands.
“Do you think it’s weird to kiss photos of those we love?” I asked.
“Oh, Dear, no,” Knopik said. “I used to do that a lot, especially right after losing a loved one.”
“Do you think there are readers who do the same thing?” I asked.
“I’m sure there are,” she replied. “I even hug pictures when I’m praying for my family.”
Like Knopik, I find that pausing before my family’s photos and giving them a soft kiss brings a sense of healing and comfort, and isn’t weird at all.
To me, it’s a tribute to the ones who always insisted, “Come over here and give us a kiss.”
For kisses, after all, are something we never outgrow.
I’d like to honor moms through the month of May. Feel free to send a memory you recall from a special mom in your life, and I’ll try to feature it. Please include a daytime phone number for verification.
Judy Halone is a member of the Washington Newspaper Publishers Association and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. Contact her at judy@judyhalone.com. Copyright © 2008 by Judy Halone.
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